Lady Bracknell: Being the eldest son you were naturally christened after your father.
Jack: [Irritably.] Yes, but what was my father’s Christian name?
Lady Bracknell: [Meditatively.] I cannot at the present moment recall what the General’s Christian name was. But I have no doubt he had one. He was eccentric, I admit. But only in later years. And that was the result of the Indian climate, and marriage, and indigestion, and other things of that kind.
Jack: Algy! Can’t you recollect what our father’s Christian name was?
Algernon: My dear boy, we were never even on speaking terms. He died before I was a year old.
Jack: His name would appear in the Army Lists of the period, I suppose, Aunt Augusta?
Lady Bracknell: The General was essentially a man of peace, except in his domestic life. But I have no doubt his name would appear in any military directory.
Jack: The Army Lists of the last forty years are here. These delightful records should have been my constant study. [Rushes to bookcase and tears the books out.] M. Generals . . . Mallam, Maxbohm, Magley, what ghastly names they have—Markby, Migsby, Mobbs, Moncrieff! Lieutenant 1840, Captain, Lieutenant-Colonel, Colonel, General 1869, Christian names, Ernest John. [Puts book very quietly down and speaks quite calmly.] I always told you, Gwendolen, my name was Ernest, didn’t I? Well, it is Ernest after all. I mean it naturally is Ernest.
Lady Bracknell: Yes, I remember now that the General was called Ernest, I knew I had some particular reason for disliking the name.
Gwendolen: Ernest! My own Ernest! I felt from the first that you could have no other name!
Jack: Gwendolen, it is a terrible thing for a man to find out suddenly that all his life he has been speaking nothing but the truth. Can you forgive me?
Gwendolen: I can. For I feel that you are sure to change.
Jack: My own one!
Chasuble: [To Miss Prism.] Lætitia! [Embraces her]
Miss Prism: [Enthusiastically.] Frederick! At last!
Algernon: Cecily! [Embraces her.] At last!
Jack: Gwendolen! [Embraces her.] At last!
Lady Bracknell: My nephew, you seem to be displaying signs of triviality.
Jack: On the contrary, Aunt Augusta, I’ve now realised for the first time in my life the vital Importance of Being Earnest.
